Mind Mangement: Benefits of Failing

Opportunity to Learn

What. What.

Yes. That's what I said. So, what are these so called benefits? First, you need to look at these failing moments/experiences as learning opportunities. Yep, an opportunity to learn.

Learn what? You're probably asking yourself. What in the world is this chick talking about.

Failure is putting yourself out in the unknown. Taking the chance/opportunity to fail or succeed. If you never put yourself out there you will never know what outcome you'll have.

How to use your failure(s) to grow your success.

Fail Time

So what if you fail. Stop avoiding the chance of failure. This "fail time" is when you learn, especially about yourself. Are you putting enough of yourself into what your are trying to accomplish? This can be applied to anything. Your family, friendships, career, new career, health, and especially yourself.

How you decide to think about failure when you don't meet your expectations is either going to encourage or discourage you. When you don't meet your expectations don't let it mean something.....example: I'm not any good at this......why did I even think I could do it. Big Fat. Fail. 

Ok, ladies! Here it is. So the "F" what! You failed. News flash here....So has a bazillion other people. The difference is confidence. Confidence is results of your ability to fail. Confidence allows you to be back at the drawing board to see where you need to tweak things. And then....yep, you guessed it. Give it another shot.

Stop it Already

Stop avoiding failure. You're avoiding something you're in charge of. You are in charge of your thoughts which is a nice place to keep clean and free of trash talk. If you don't support or respect what your goals are and what your action plan is how in the heck are you ever going to get support and respect from others. Be confident, proud, excited....even to the point of giddy (my favorite place to see people), and most importantly respect and love yourself.

Stop saying:

  • I'm confused
  • I don't understand
  • I'm undecided
  • I'm a failure
  • Not the right time
  • I can't
  • ....blah, blah, blah

No More Trash Thoughts

Figure your shit out. Decide. Take action. Check your goals. No. More. Trash. Thoughts.

Write down those trash thoughts, get them out of your head and get them on paper. Read through them and figure out where these thoughts are coming from. 

Ponder and I mean really ponder these words and where they are coming from. Spend some time here. Do not go any further until you have done this. Except them and be done with them. Don't waste another precious moment on them. They are no good to you. 

Now replace every single one of the trash thoughts with positive productive thoughts. Here's some examples:

  • I can do this
  • I am enough
  • I am good enough....in fact I'm great
  • I am able
  • I am smart enough
  • The right time is now
  • I'll figure it out
  • This will work
  • People need it/want it
  • ....you get the point

Read them out loud. Repeat. Repeat as many times as you like. Tape your list where you can see it...especially when those nasty ole trash thoughts come knocking on your door. 

Take a deep belly rising breath, hold, then exhale deeply and noisily through your mouth. Repeat two more times. Now, don't you feel so much better. Smile. You got this.

Love yourself.

xoxo Tisa

Mind Management: Overcoming Fear

Fear  - Face to Face

FEAR!!!! Is one of the biggest obstacles you may face when you decide to.... Go. For. IT.

Time to get some things straight here.

  • Fear does not mean STOP
  • Fear is not a valid reason to Not do something.

.......and, guess what? You do not have to be fearless. What? You might be saying right about now. What do you mean I don't have to be fearless to overcome fear? It's pretty shocking. But. No. You. Do. Not. Need. To be fearless. Nobody is fearless. Just sayin.

What you need to do is pay attention to your thoughts. Most of the fear you have comes from a thought or emotion.

For example:

  • Fear of the pain  (maybe it's needles....this is very much one of my fears)
  • Fear of humiliation
  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of success (yep, this happens) 
  • Fear of loss

What Are You Afraid Of?

So, this is where you ask yourself....

  1. What am I afraid of?
  2. What fears are holding me back?

One thing you can't do is avoid fear. You should embrace your fear and continue to move forward.

Fear is just an emotion that is created by your thoughts.

Is fear holding you back. Get tips on how to deal with fear and be successful.

List Time 

You may guessed and yes it is time to make a list......get used to it people. Once you write something down that shit is for reals. It also helps you to see patterns in your thoughts. Easier to get these thoughts out of your head so that you can free up space for productive thoughts.

  • List 1: What am I afraid of? 
  • List 2: What fears are holding you back?
  • List 3: What is your life missing because of the fears that are holding you back?

Shit's Getting Real 

Whoa! Talk about shit getting real. Oh man, was it real for me when I made my 3 list. Those words staring up at me seemed larger than life. I've had my list for 4 years now tucked away in the pocket of my kindle cover. The pages have gentle wear as I have unfolded and folded them a lot since placing them there for safe keeping. 

Whenever I would start to stray away from my goal or start to feel frustrated, sad, lonely, angry, disappointed or anxious I would go searching for my kindle and slide the papers from the pocket and re-read what I had written on those pages.

Grab a Tissue 

I do have to give you a heads up here. As you are making your lists....well, it just may get emotional for ya. For me, it was a life changing eye opener. Extremely emotional. Something I definitely needed. Something I'm forever grateful that I did. 

Making these lists helped me get through an extremely rough time and opened my eyes to how much I was being held back. Once the words were on paper and not crowding my mind with trash thoughts it was then at that moment when I realized how much my life needed to change. How I needed to change my thoughts. So, I could get better results.

Do Not skip this exercise! The value you will get from making these lists is priceless. Take a moment to make your list and keep them close for you will be needing these words to keep you on track and moving forward. 

Luvs and hugs to each and every one of you!!

xoxo Tisa

 

Mind Management: Set Goals Part 2

Why You're Not Taking Action

Number one reason why you're not taking action is due to not taking action with PURPOSE. Feelings are controlling your thoughts. Feelings like fear, doubt, non belief in yourself, lack of courage, frustration, insecurities, lack of motivation.......et cetera.

Are negative thoughts causing fear to steal your goals. Follow my tips to get those goals off the ground.

Negative Thoughts Are Toxic

Ok, here is where the shit hits the fan. STOP having these negative thoughts. START Thinking with a purpose. STOP letting your feelings.....the ones your so comfortable with....get in the way.

I know what you're thinking, and I totally understand. It's so easy to listen to the fear...and the long list of other feelings that stop you dead in your tracks as you attempt to take action with your goals.

Remember. This. Is. A. Process. A process that every successful person experiences and works through.

Take Action Ladies

Actions create results. BAM!! Think about this for a little bit. Thoughts create feelings --> which drive actions --> which create results.

We have around 60,000 thoughts per day. Time to break the habits of what I call trash thoughts and bring positive thoughts to the table. No trash at your table Please! Clean it up! Or your goals will go south or sit lifeless.

Trash Thoughts 

These trash (negative) thoughts, possibly but more likely probably, derive from your past evenas far back as childhood. If you grew up hearing words like:

  • you can't do that
  • you'll never amount to anything
  • you're big, chubby, fat
  • you're not smart enough
  • you're dreams are too big
  • you're stupid/not smart enough
  • you're ugly
  • you're worthless

I can keep going but I won't, you get the idea. You're welcome.

Thanks Mom

I was fortunate to not hear these words when I was growing up. My mom encouraged me with everything I ever wanted to try. She always said encouraging words and just let me be. She gave me room to make mistakes and learn from them. Thanks Mom!! 

Breaks my heart when I hear some of the things that parents say/yell at their child/children in a public setting, I can only imagine what goes on in a private setting. No Bueno!!!

But, I Just Don't Know .....

Here's the thing, you must be able to understand yourself before you can change....your thoughts. You need to understand why you do what you do. For example: Overeating is an action. What are you feeling that is fueling you to overeat? If it's anxiety.....what are you thinking that is causing this anxiety?

This is where you start ladies. Find the reason for your thoughts. Except them. Understand that these are childhood/past thoughts and they no longer apply to you. Period. Say goodbye to these trash (negative) thoughts. 

These thoughts/feeling do not affect you now. They are part of your past. Let it go. The past is gone. Nothing you can do now about the past. Stop letting the past control your thoughts. Live in the now. You have the power to change your thoughts. So, as Nike says "Just do it"!   

You Are In Charge 

You are in charge of creating your feelings. You can change these feelings with your thoughts. Everything you feel is a choice. So, when you stop (goals)  or don't start something(goals) because of fear..... YOU are creating a feeling which is also creating your results. This is some serious stuff, Ladies.

Those Goals.....Remember Them?

Now look at your goals you listed from the Setting Goals part 1. Now write your goals again and see if they are different. Don't let past thoughts interfere with your goals. If you desire something it's yours to desire. No. Matter. What.

Every action is because of a feeling which comes from a thought.

Be fun. Be creative. Be adventurous. Be happy. Be yourself. Be amazing. Be joyful. Be loving.

xoxoTisa

Check this song out......What if we did build that rocket ship.......just sayin!

twenty one pilots: Stressed Out [OFFICIAL VIDEO] - YouTube

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXRviuL6vMY