Mind Management - Dreams and Desires

Dream Stealer

Did you know that making excuses steal your dreams? Whaaaat? Dream stealer?!?!?! No. Wait a minute. Isn't is suppose to be dream catcher.  It's really difficult to catch your dreams when you may be burying them beneath your doubts. 

Dreams. Desires. Doubt. Where's your priority?

Triple D's

Dreams. Desires. Doubt. This 3-step process is one that you go through whenever you start setting goals and are wanting to make changes in your life. Go get a shovel ladies......you will need it to dig yourself out of this heap of a mess. What I mean by this is you must change your thoughts about your circumstances. Toss those negative thoughts that we are going to call doubts out of your head. 

When you're dreaming of .....fill in the blank here.... and your dream becomes a desire it's time to put on the boxing gloves. Your opponent in this match is YOU. Yes. YOU. When you start doubting your ability, your courage, your dream then get those gloves on and fight for what you desire. Don't let doubt win. Don't make excuses. Don't ignore your desires. Don't stop fighting.  Allow yourself to dream!!              

Time To Get Reacquainted With You

Spend some time getting to know yourself; really know yourself. Dig deep here, ladies. We tend to put everyone else before ourselves. That's not a terrible choice however, we must be a bit selfish and spend time on getting in touch with ourselves.

  • What are your TRUE desires?
  • Are you clear on your priorities?
  • Are you aware of your thinking?
  • Any trash thoughts holding you up?
  • Have you cleared your mind?
  • Are you making excuses?

Your Desires Are Important....To You

Write down your desires. Remember. This is important. Your desires. Not. Your spouse/partner, children, friend, co-worker, the lady down the street......okay you get the idea. Yours and yours alone. Write those bitches down.

Commit to your decision(s)/goal(s). Tap into that emotion.  You don't have to justify the WHY. You decide. Are you going to honor your desires/dreams or your doubt?? 

Fa Getta Bout It

Clear up your priorities. What is really important to you to take care of immediately?  If your phone rings or your phone alerts you that you have a new text do you nearly break a leg to get to your phone...... Lord, I hope not. Seriously, unless you're an on call doctor........fa getta bout it. Let the damn thing ring and go to voice-mail. Handle that shit later. Especially if you're having "me time" or spending some fun filled time with the fam or your BF.

Don't let technology rule your world. Enjoy and embrace time with yourself and others. Too many people are so wrapped up in their social media life that they totally miss. What is right. Smack. In front of them. Don't be that person that missed an amazing precious moment because you were updating your status. Really. That's dumb.

Meaningful Things are Key

So now that you're confused about your priorities. My bad. I know. I know. I know. Technology/social media is the WHY for a lot of you #girlbosses.......alls I'm saying here is give yourself a break and enjoy some quiet time. Listen to nature and the beautiful sounds around you. Take a moment to breathe in some fresh air. Take a moment to be still. Take a moment to let go. When you give your beautiful self these moments you'll find that you have cleared some fog and have unsurfaced some amazing thoughts. Thoughts that you can/will be your tools to bring your dream to real time. 

Important key here should be.........meaningful things. Here it goes. Are you ready. Your desires should be a priority. Self coaching....meditation....yoga.....long walks.....glass of Reisling... anything that will clear the trash thoughts. Write your goals. Take action. Enjoy the results.

Things that take up your precious time that are not urgent should not override the importance of your priorities.

Set Some Time Aside For You

You may (and most likely need to) set aside a specific time for yourself to work on:

  1. Your goals
  2. Your priorities
  3. Clearing your mind to be void of trash thoughts
  4. Getting back in touch with yourself

This may sound frivolous. But. Aren't you worth it?? Just a few hours a week ........or more if you can dig up the time.........can give you many hours of happiness.

I'm a Dragon Slayer..yep, true story

I love my time sitting at home alone just thinking, being thankful, enjoying the quiet, breathing,  dancing, singing, and loving the moment. It's such a feel good time for me and I totally connect with me. I listen to what is spinning around in my head. I figure shit out. I take action. I breathe. I love myself. It gets emotional sometimes.....and I'm okay with that. I own it. No self loathing from this girl. I'm way past that in my life. Not to say it doesn't rear it's ugly head at times. And when it does.....I'm like a dragon slayer, yes, I just said that........I take control and win every time. Some days I slay more than others....but in the end I win.

Dragon Slayers Unite

Time to take a stand ladies and become the Bad Ass Bitches that you are. Time to stop taking shit from people... including yourself. Slay self loathing when it shows up. Slay doubt when it interferes with your dreams. Slay that big ass Dragon and show it you will not accept anything less.  Be willing to go after your desires. 

You got this. Breathe and let go of the negative. 

xoxo Tisa 

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Mind Management - Believe in Yourself

Get Yourself Some Wings Girl

Your belief in yourself is one big powerful tool. That tool may be a sledge hammer if you don’t have positive beliefs in yourself. Or, that tool may be wings that take you to amazing places and experiences. I know which I want. Wings, please I want the wings. 

What might be holding you back?

Nothing is Stopping You......... Trust Me

Have you ever had to deal with something extremely difficulty and then when it was all over you felt a huge relief and suddenly felt lighter? Or, that moment you get the best news ever? Those moments feel so amazing, right? The catcher here is that there’s nothing stopping you from having way more of these moments. Nothing. But you. Nobody else is in charge of this but you.

Your Thoughts Are Holding You Back

Your thoughts. That is what's holding you back, pinning you down like you can't move. Just because you think you are:

  • Unworthy
  • Fat
  • Ugly
  • Too tall/short 
  • Not smart enough 
  • Not creative enough
  • Not likeable/lovable 
  • Too broke

Doesn’t mean that you are any of these things!!! You have control over what you think and/or believe.

Your thoughts are your belief and will determine your results. Think about this one a bit. You’ve heard the saying and have probably said it a time or two “you are what you eat,” this can also be suggested with your thoughts “you are what you believe.” You keep on telling yourself you're not good enough....then you probably won't be. So. Stop it. That's the worst excuse ever. EVER. If you never take action how do you know if you're not good enough.

Ask Yourself 

  1. What do you want to believe?
  2. Do you believe you can achieve your goal(s)?
  3. Do you believe your past controls/makes your future?
  4. Do you believe others control your outcome?

You need to start with deciding what you want to believe. Then practice what you want to believe.

About you. About your life. About your family. About your career. About your health.

You have a life. Repeat the following:

I have a life. I have a life. I have a life . Now smile.

Remember Those Goals

Pull your goal list out(the one you worked on in Goal Setting part 1 and part 2) and reconnect. Read it. Read it again and this time out loud. Believe it. Believe in you.

When you truly believe. You will take action and will achieve your goal(s).

It’s just as easy to believe you will achieve your goals as it is to believe you won’t.

List Time

Make a list of positive words about you. Here’s an example of my list. Write down - don't type it -  what you want to believe (your handwriting speaks way louder to you than a bunch of typed words on a piece of paper). No matter how big or how small. You own this list. Be the boss of this list. Don't hold anything back. Get it all out there.

  • I am a smart women
  • I am a beautiful human being 
  • There are others that may need my help
  • I will get in shape 
  • I will be debt free in 5 years
  • I am capable 
  • I have the ability 
  • I will do yoga at least 3 times a week 
  • People want to change

Take your list and tape it where you can see it and practice these thoughts for 30 days. 

Think about your life as Amazing! Love yourself! Get to know yourself! Commit to your goal(s)! Stop making excuses! Be aware of your thinking! Clean up your mind! Life isn’t as serious as your mind makes it to be! Love yourself more!

I’m your biggest fan! I love you. I am so proud of you. I know this is not easy and if you’ve made it this far in this series without giving up, woohoo! Time to celebrate girl! Time to live the life you deserve. Time to try out your wings. Soar above the trees and feel the freedom and the clarity!

Now, take a moment to relax and take a deep belly breath, hold, exhale deeply and noisily. Repeat 2 more times. Smile. Release negative thoughts. Welcome positive thoughts.

Till next time ladies, love yourself fully!

Xoxo Tisa

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Mind Management: Fake Happiness

Is This You?

Fake Happiness. What the What. Pretty sure this is not a properly termed condition. But, this shit is for reals. It happens. A lot. Daily. People float around all day long emitting rays of sunshine. When on the inside they know there is something missing. If this is all sunshine and butterflies, stop this train and let me off. Please!

Are you walking around all day with a big fat smile on your face but on the inside your not smiling? You can change this.

Faux Sunshine and Butterfly Train

All aboard! I have been on this faux sunshine/butterfly train. Not a very enjoyable ride. Taking notice that something isn't quit how you want it to be is the first move to getting off this train. 

Sunshine and butterflies are two of my favorite things but when they are representing faux happiness to others - you included -  then it just kinda sucks the life out you. Time to ask the the Train Conductor (you) when is the next stop cause you want off of this train.

Giving Yourself Permission

You can't look outside yourself for happiness. I know, what the hell does this mean? This my friends is the meat to this happiness pie - Joy and Happiness. Joy and Happiness come from what's going on in our mind. You have to give yourself permission to be happy. You sure don't mind giving yourself permission to be miserable, jealous, hateful, lonely, sad, grumpy, resentful....... 

Here's another punch to the gut.....  Happiness does not come from purchasing, owning, collecting stuff or having a hot body or a hot partner or having a huge house and hot little sports car. Nope. Sorry to burst your bubble. Really I am...well...not really. Sorry I'm not sorry. Just stating some facts.

Learn how to appreciate the moment you are in NOW and if they include some of the above mentioned things well then WOOHOO for you. Rock it!  Stop trading this moment for future or past moments.

Stop denying yourself present happiness thinking only the future will give you your happiness...like  when you have all your ducks in row and all your junk collected.  

I've met a lot of people that have STUFF and these bitches are miserable and they want everyone around them to join in on this miserable trip. Don't do it. Walk....No.... run in the other direction.

Story Time

Got a little story for ya. A couple years ago I was at a place in my life that I started to think about purchasing a home. I really wanted my own place. A place that I could decorate and do whatever I pleased. I had been divorced for a long while and had a couple of long-term relationships where I had moved into their place. Living in another persons space did not allow me to decorate (which I love to do and I'm pretty darn good at it). Guys can be toads sometimes.

Anyhow. I really wanted a cute little brick bungalow. But. I started telling myself all kinds of trash thought crap...... I probably haven't been at my job long enough. I don't make enough money. My credit is not good enough. So, my plan was to not start looking for a house but to start saving some $$ to be better prepared.

More To This Story

Well, that's not what happened. My daughter helped me empty the trash thoughts and encouraged me to go forward with purchasing my little dream home. A few days after emptying the trash I found a super cute brick bungalow. Fell completely in love with it. Went to the bank (super nervous I was). Got approved. WHAT! I pretty much hyperventilated right then and there. Put in an offer. Offer accepted. Closed. Moved in. Love. Love. Love my little bungalow.

My house is definitely my HOME. I could go on to say that my house makes me happy. But really it's not the house in and of itself but how I think about my house and what feelings I have. When I'm home I'm relaxed. I create. I sit and listen to music. I hang outside and watch my dogs run around like crazy chasing the squirrels who love to torment them. I love my flowers and watching and waiting for my strawberries to grow. I love being me. I don't fake happiness when I'm home or anywhere else. I definitely had a case of Fake Happiness when I lived in the other homes and at other times of my life. But not now. Nope. No way.

Where Is Happiness?

Happiness is with you always. Really. It is. The moment you decide to be happy no matter what happens is the moment you have stepped of the Faux Sunshine and Butterfly train. 

Time to see and experience the sunshine and those beautiful butterflies in a real happy moment. I'm not and certainly don't believe you can be happy 100 % of the time. What. Isn't that what I've been preaching about for the last few paragraphs. It's healthy and a must to experience all emotions. Including sadness, anger, disappointment, regret.....blah, blah, blah. 

It's the action we take when we have these types of feelings that will present you with positive or negative results. 

So, there it is.....it's up to you what result you get. If you truly want to be angry about something.....by all means be angry. But, be angry then let it go. Accept it. Let. It. Go. Move forward. Let it be in the past. Don't pack it in your suitcase and haul it around.

Time For a List

This is the time where you need to sit in a peaceful happy place and really think about your happiness and what it means to you. 

  1. Is it sincere?
  2. Is it not sincere?
  3. Are you really faking it? Some of the time? All of the time?
  4. If you're sincerely happy at times, when are those times?
  5. When you're unhappy, what is the cause?
  6. What is it that makes you feel happy?
  7. What are you missing in your life?

Remember, happiness is a feeling related to a thought. And, so is sadness.  You are in charge of your thoughts. Think back to the model that you learned about in the beginning of Mind Managment:

  • Circumstance
  • Thoughts
  • Feelings
  • Actions
  • Results

Being in charge also means that if there are things/people that are bringing on the unhappiness, you may need to consider makes some other changes in your life. 

For instance, if going to work is so stressful and you are not loving your job/career and its become a dread to even think about going to work. Then maybe it's time for a change in your job/career. 

Look for a job that is fulfilling and enjoyable. A job/career that you love and look forward to and that is rewarding. You're paying the bills and loving what you do. Never. Ever. Think you can not make these changes. You are in charge. 

Of course, if you're married/in relationship discuss with your partner before coming home unemployed. Because, I know first hand experience this is not a good discussion to have if the other is not aware of your plans. Plan together. Please.

Don't Jump Off of The Train Yet!

You may not even to need to change job/career, partner, friends, hair color....hehehe. You may just need to change your thoughts to the circumstances that arise. 

I suggest you start here with your thoughts. Try it on for awhile. Make changes to your thoughts as necessary see how these changes evolve around you. If it still isn't quit right for you make the next necessary change. The circumstance.

For example - if someone irritates you.....figure out what is it exactly that irritates you and work it out with yourself. So get this in your head.....other people don't feel your feelings towards them. It only affects you. Your thoughts. Result in your feelings. Then you act upon those feelings. It's all you. Time to take responsibility. 

Do you have any control over what the other person is doing? Maybe...if they are tapping their pencil on the desk non stop, you certainly can ask them NICELY if they wouldn't mind not tapping their pencil. They may not even realize they are doing it. 

But other things may be their personality. And, YOU do not have control of their personality. Everyone is different in some way. That's what makes us unique and the world not so boring. Shout out to my desk mates at work....you are not this person....so stop freaking out. Calm down. No trash thoughts. Okay?! Love you!

Enjoy and Let Go

Start enjoying things you love to do. Be around people that make you laugh. Do something adventurous. Smile. Smile. Smile. Wear something sassy or get a sassy hairdo. Enjoy the skin your in because it's all you'll get. Be nice. Be a joy to be around. Sing out loud in your car. Dance around your house(and who cares if someone sees you).  Be happy. Love yourself. Love others. Love life.

Love you guys. I'm so proud of you for taking this journey to improve your life. You get one life, so rock it like a Superstar (hands in armpits and all).

xoxo Tisa

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