Why Doesn't Always Have To Be A Negative Word
Life can be a whirlwind at times. In fact, there are days you can't make any head way at all. It's like you're stuck in a vortex that keeps you spinning in circles and gets you close, real close to the exit.......then BAM sucks you right back in.
I hope to help you find that damn exit and get a clearer idea to your WHY.
You Thought Only Kids Asked Why
Lately have you found yourself saying....
- Why do I even do this?
- What good does it do?
- Who really cares anyway?
- What is my purpose?
- Why can't things just be simple?
- How did I get here?
- How do I get out?
Unfortunately You're Not Alone
Phew!! Those are some loaded questions. I can feel the frustration in this questions ladies. I can feel the rage. I can see the tears. Not because I'm clairvoyant but because I've had these same questions plenty of times throughout my life. I have been right there with my head in my hands. And let me tell you there are a lot of ladies who deal with this every single day.
Focusing On The End Goal Can Lead You Astray
A lot of this frustration can stem from the fact that you forget why you are doing something in the first place. You get so focused on the end goal that you forget there is a road that needs to be taken to get to the end. Along the journey you may take wrong turns and when you are so focused on the end goal you may not notice you have veered off the road heading in the wrong direction. A direction that is taking you so far away from your goal that you won't be able to reach it.
These questions are results from forgetting your why. When you forget your why you start to get frustrated which leads you to start talking trash talk.....find more about trash talk in Mind Management..... which leads you to say things like "What is my Purpose," " Who really cares," or "Why can't thing just be simple". Why? Why? Why? ARGH!!!!!
Time To Pause
The very first moment you start to feel frustrated about anything. You need to pause for a moment take some deep cleansing breaths. Then ask yourself "What is going on in my life that is causing this frustration?" or "What is hanging me up?"
I'm going to give an example and break it down to demonstrate how most of the frustration can be corrected with answering one question.
The Perfect Meal
First of all when this happens I want an invite.....just sayin!
You have this awesome idea that you want to make a meal for your family..... a meal that is over the top. This is a fantastic idea and is a great way to show your family love and feed them a fabulous dinner.
The idea of the "Perfect Meal" is not where the problem lies but in what happens afterwards.
Now the planning begins. You spend countless hours looking through numerous recipes books. You spend all Sunday watching the Food Network. You keep getting visions of what this "Perfect Meal" is suppose to look like.
A decision is made and grocery list in hand you head to the grocery store to fill your basket with foods, spices, and vegetables you don't even know how to pronounce let alone how to cook. You get through check out with a mild heart attack when you get the total. Now you start doubting yourself. Then the trash talk begins. "Why..........."
At this point you're exhausted with the amount of hours you have put in. The amount of money you have spent. And now you just realized to bake this "Perfect Meal" you need a special dish to bake it in. Damn it. More money. More time. But by now so much of your time and money is into this "Perfect Meal' you're sure in Hell is not turning back now and aborted your plan.
You stick to your original plan and move forward. But now you are exhausted, nearly broke and pretty pissed off at the whole idea. So you stop. No. You keep moving forward and then two steps back because you just realized you picked up the wrong damn spice......ARGH!
The Tension Continues To Build
Once you're back at home you head to the dreadful kitchen that was once your haven and pick up where you left off. By now the kids are getting home and are so excited about their day. And all you want to do gag them and throw them in the closet until further notice. Not recommended by the way. Now the kiddos are confused and their feelings are hurt so they get the heck out of your way.
The Anger Sets In
All you want to do is make this "Perfect Meal" for your family. Your family who you love so much. This is for them. Don't they realize that. Don't they realize how hard you've worked. The answer is....NO. They honestly have no idea how much thought and time and money you have put into this "Perfect Meal." Heck they don't even know that this is the "Perfect Meal' or what the hell that means. They know it's close to dinner time and they are hungry.
Now You Just Want It Over With
Your "Perfect Meal" is now complete and displayed on the table. You look at it in AH. But you're thinking. Are the cost worth it? The time spent? The money spent? The burn fingertips? The melted spoon? Stepping on your dogs tail while he casually laid at your feet watching the madness. The headache? Was this "Perfect Meal" worth all of what you gave it?
Probably Depends On The Reviews
This can be tricky. If your family doesn't recognize this meal is different from what you normally fix.........heads will roll or at the least you will start to fume a tad. Or they may say, "It's ok." Watch out those are fighting words.
Or they may show appreciation but follow it with "you didn't have to work this hard to prepare dinner for us, what you usually make it just as good." Yikes, people had better start ducking.
And The Screaming Fit Begins
By now you are livid. You announce not only will you not make a meal like this one again you may not ever cook again.!.!
Nobody at the dinner table knows what just happened but you. You are the ONLY one.
Whoa Nellie!! Now that's just plain rude.
- You set the value and expectations of the meal too high.
- You didn't make it known to your family you were planning this meal.
- You were unrealistic about the outcome.
- You exhausted yourself - mentally and physically.
How It Could Have Been Different
- Informing your family you are planning to make something new for dinner on.....whatever day you're planning to fix this special dinner. You don't have to spill the beans about what it is but at the least tell them something special is planned.
- Finding a recipe that is not out of your culinary skills. Not to say you can't explore a little just be realistic.
- Make it a family fun time together and recruit help from everyone as long as having the entire crew in your kitchen doesn't spike your anxiety levels.
- Don't expect your family to understand how important the meal is to you if you're not planning to tell them anything about it.
- Recognize when you have bitten off more than you can chew. A change of the menu would probably go unnoticed to everyone but you.
So if you're planning a semi-formal dinner party don't tell everyone it's a little get together. Tell them exactly what to expect that way you will not get your feelings hurt or discouraged from planning any more shindigs.
Always Go Back To The Why
Always keep in mind your WHY you're doing something. Usually you're doing something because it means something to you.
- Always go back to the WHY.
- Then break down what is interfering with your WHY.
- Is it something you can change?
- Do you need to make a new game plan?
You don't alway need to abort your goal. Figuring out where it when off track may be what you need to do to get heading in the right direction.
Head over to Mind Management and get caught up on how your thoughts can change your outcome to any situation.
Be Strong. Be Sassy.